Ever been on a romantic vacay with your boyfriend thinking he'd propose? But then he doesn't pop the question which leads you both to have a serious talk which then leads to a breakup. It happened to several of my friends. It happened to me in Spain.
It was 2017 and I was three years in to the relationship. It happened to one of my closest friends and she was six years in to the relationship. I hope it'll never happen again.
Now at age 37, I've had some time to reflect on that last long term relationship. Though my ex and I did talk about getting married, I learned that it's still important to clear communication from the start.
Ever since the breakup, I've told my friends, family, strangers and their dogs that I'm very single and looking for a good guy who wants marriage. It's been going on for three years and still no luck.
I've had a number of dates here and there but nothing more than a few months. Is it because guys in my age demographic are all married with kids? Are the guys that are single...single for a reason? Who knows. I could just be picky too.
A friend recently asked why I want to be married. Could a long term committed relationship without the official paperwork be suffice?
It's kind of the millennial trend these days. Before it was millennials were getting married later and later. Now millennials aren't doing the marriage thing.
I know at least five friends who have been with their partners for almost 10 years. They live together and never plan on getting married. To each their own!
After much thought, I realized that I wanted to be married for various reasons. The main reason is that I would like both my future partner and I do be committed for the long haul, especially when the going gets rough.
Let me explain...
In my last three relationships, the guys became distant and eventually pulled away when I needed their support the most. Whether it was going through family drama or work drama, it felt like the rug was pulled from under me when they wanted to end things because it got too much.
It's not to say that divorce can happen too when the going gets rough. But making things official does add that layer of commitment. Maybe I'm just naive because I've never been married.
But what I do know is that I rather be single than sorry.
I understand that I can still feel lonely when I'm with someone. I know because that's how it felt towards the end of each relationship.
I understand that I can still feel a lone when I'm in a committed relationship. I know because that's how it felt when my last few partners did not want to be in a relationship anymore.
I've given the online dating a try. Friends even tried to introduce me to guys. So far my conclusion is: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
While I don't always enjoy being single, I also understand the grass is not always greener. After all, half of all marriages end in divorce in the United States. There's something to be said about that.