One of my closest friends is also my polar opposite when it comes to direct communication. She has no qualms about being direct. And she can do so very tactfully too.
Yet when I blurt my truth, it doesn't always come out smooth. I can come off as angry, rude or neurotic (that's when I've let things fester too long and then explode).
I learned to process my thoughts before I speak by either writing it out or talking it out. This week, here are the things I have a hard time saying to guys, clients and others.
To the guy who invited me out to dinner...
You should have paid for our dinner. Don't do the fake out by reaching for your wallet ever so slowly. You shouldn't have let me pay for us. That was low. Grow up. Good riddance.
To the new contact who keeps messaging me...
Please stop. I am purposely ignoring your DM's on Facebook, LinkedIn and MeetUp. I don't want to have a "quick" call with you just so you can pick my brain about Pinterest marketing. No thanks, I don't want to collaborate on "potential" projects for free in exchange for "exposure to your audience."
To the gal who invited me to meet up...
Please respect my time. You wanted to get to know each other's businesses. Fine. But it's not ok to be 30 minutes late and then ask me for a ride home knowing your home was completely out of my way.
Why couldn't you take a Lyft back home like you did to get to the meeting location? I waited 30 minutes for you and then added an extra 45 minutes to my commute to take you home...again, it was in the opposite direction of where I was going. You're really inconsiderate and I'd never want to meet with you again.
To Spectrum sales associates...
Do you get paid to punt calls to the next sales associate? It should not have taken more than five calls and a total of six hours to cancel internet service. I was sent a modem when I didn't even ask for one. Thanks for double charging me. I rather not go through another long call to reconcile those incorrect charges. Good riddance.
To the Vons store clerk at La Jolla Colony...
Please don't take out your anger on the customers. It's kind of your job to help customers at the self-checkout when an item does not process. As a customer, the last thing I want is to bother you...that's why I'm in the self-checkout lane. There's no need to be rude.
This is on me.
By not speaking up, I allowed for my boundaries to be crossed. The emotions lingered and I used it as signs to guide me. I was able to get to the bottom of why other people's actions bothered me so deeply. Here's what I concluded:
Feel it to heal it.
People cannot read your mind.
Don't expect anyone to have common courtesy.
It's ok to say no even when it makes someone else uncomfortable.
I don't need to stay in California if it's not a good fit.
Follow your curiosity.
Failing is what makes life an adventure.
It's normal to feel lost.
It's ok to change your mind about anything.
Anything can change in an instant.
You're never missing out. Let go of FOMO.
Trust the Universe. No experience is ever wasted.
Keep taking the next step.
There is power in stillness.
And the journey continues!